Sunday, November 4, 2012

it's been way too long

*i stopped writing in this blog regularly a while ago. i miss doing it because it was a great way to document all the great things my kids are doing. i have so much more time to keep track of them now that i'm not working but i allow dumb things to keep me from doing the FUN parts of life. . .i'm going to try to make this journal happen more often...i love reading people's blogs....why not share our life too!*

Since I last wrote seriously which I guess was the beach much has happened in our neck of the woods. I was laid off at WPSD. I had been working there as a Middle School Counselor for five years and really "loving" my job a lot. I really loved the kids a lot and the teachers so much. My supervisor was really terrific. He was supportive and really kind. I enjoyed the majority of my job but there were definitely a lot of things that were, like any job, extremely grating. In spite of those things, I was devastated to be laid off. It didn't come as a huge surprise for many reasons but the pain of the termination of my job was excruciating. I don't think I recovered from the shock of it until the next school year began. However, I found myself in the new position that I had always desired to be at home with Max and Talia. 

Max was beginning Kindergarten and Talia was two. It was difficult figuring out what to do with my time. What was I supposed to do with my days? I had always worked. I wasn't used to being home all day. I am not a domestic person. So I through myself into the kids. I was helping out at Max's school. I was trying to make adult play dates. Kid play dates. Anything to fill my time. I ran into so many walls. All the time I had spent building my career everyone who had been staying home was building their playgroups and friendships....there was no room for a new/old mom. It was so isolating. I felt so alone. I joined Bible Studies, book clubs, anything to find my fit. I was volunteering trying to do was really difficult. I didn't have any friends that were at home during the day. Everyone was carrying on with their lives.

Max was doing half day Kindergarten so we did so many trips after school. We would visit museums, playgrounds, parks, and our pool. We did so many crafts and library trips. It was a great year for the three of us for learning and growing closer together but I really missed adult interaction. Chris would come home from work and call me his puppy. He said I would jump on him and talk to him non-stop for hours on end until he was exhausted. He is an introvert so I'm sure he was ready to pass out when he walked through the door and my hyper activity was the last thing he needed. =/

When the Spring finally came, I had gotten us into a decent schedule and felt more developed. I had made some friendships at Max's school with some mom's in his class and then became more connected. By the summer we all were grounded and my security and identity were definitely back on track. I had lost all sense of myself with that loss and allowed it to dent my confidence. 

During the Summer we were crazy. My sister had a huge surgery on her brain tumor which was a huge success. Then we went on a life changing camping family retreat where my family was able to serve and minister to other families. Max went to overnight camp for the first time. Max joined the swim team and earned the MVP. He also plays soccer and tennis. Talia just started dance class and she totally loves it. We are constantly so mesmerized by the hilarious stuff they are saying. Max is so smart. He's reading so well and he loves doing math work. He's fascinated by lightening and wants to learn how to harness it for electricity. Talia is so hilarious. I was talking to her about learning to fingerknit and she said "will it make my fingers bleed?" Small snippet of my daily life. 

I have no hard feelings (any more) towards WPSD. What a huge favor they did for me...they gave me my life to enjoy. Pure joy. 


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