Monday, February 23, 2009

rita j

this is my girl talia, she may hate me in about 13 years. just like i hated my mom and she hated hers. perhaps it's because i now have a daughter that i have a NEW respect for my mother.

she is the epitome of emily post....

"never wear white after labor day", "make sure the house is clean before chris gets home.", "what should we have for dinner?" before we've digested lunch. 

she knows how things should be done and shares it with whomever will listen...

"do your wash on mondays, clean the house on tuesdays, etc...", "always dust first and then vaccuum.", "when you do your dishes, start with sippy cups and bottles, then do glasses, then dishes, then the pans should be last."

we have been over the coals in the past few weeks (ahem, months). we have lived in pure chaos since about september. roller coaster the entire six months. we haven't had one ounce of boredom. starting with buying the house and now ending with talia being in and out of the hospital all week. (she had RSV-another story for another entry.)

how does this connect? well, my mom and i have always butted heads. i pretty much grew up bucking her "rules" my entire life. she just seemed to have SOOO many "musts" and i can't handle that. before talia was born, i realized how many rules i had made for myself. it was exhausting following i started bucking my rules and it has really helped me define myself in much better ways.  

well, where does that leave us? my mother came down to stay with us for the past five days right after talia was finally discharged. i wanted some help but i was nervous about FIVE DAYS. as it draws close to the end of her stay, i realize that i don't want her to go..we did argue at times but i learned so much. even though i knew it before, it became clear about why her rules existed. everything has come full circle for me with what makes her who she is. we had always called her the best housewife in the world because she managed to keep our house in great running order but i didn't realize how hard she worked to do that.

she said something profound today...the baby was crying, max was hungry and begging/screaming for egg (he just wanted one), and i was in the middle of a project with max involving an iron (pictures to follow.) if she hadn't been there, i don't know what i would have done. it was so overwhelming...she said, hold on to your pants, 

"you have to anticipate everything your kids are going to want"

i hadn't been doing that. when she suggested "what should we have for dinner?" after lunch, i thought, "geez, we just ate. who cares?" then at dinner time, we have a snack til i think of what to make. PREparation...hmmm. what a novel idea!!

i feel changed. and like i said, i don't know if it's because i have talia now or what but i've decided to put away all my white pants and heels until the season changes. just to honor her a little bit more....for everything she's taught me...