i read an article tonite in this magazine that chris got as a gift about a "pill" to help you forget things you want to forget. it was not a pill but really a therapeutic approach about reliving the event in order to avoid PTSD. reliving the event thru aggressive direct questioning. the approach was not successful with burn victims at all and actually caused more trauma than those who did not undergo that counseling approach. it was successful for EMS workers who had seen terrible sights in car accidents and other rescues that haunted them long after...
it got me to thinking about the traumas that were reoccurring in my own life. how those that i was able to process through with my friends, family, chris...do not haunt me. so many i have let those go. after i brought them into the Light. i gave them as much detail as necessary for me to heal from them...and they were gone. for me, i talk right away. i don't hold things in. . .they need to come out. but those few deep hurts. the ones that i CAN'T share.
those ones.....those are the ones that pop up again. those are the ones that make me empathic as a counselor. but that also holds me prisoner in a place of unrest and unforgiveness. i remember the names of those that have hurt me. i remember the places and the words and the actions. i wish there was a pill to take that away.
everyday i am closer to finding that through the unfailing, unconditional Love that says their words are not My words. their words were pain filled hurting words. My words are perfect Life giving words. and i remember how many times my words have been so destructive and so tearing down and people have probably had to forgive me. . .