my big guy

max turned two right at the end of the chaos. we are going to have a party for him in two weeks and we know he doesn't realize yet that it's his birthday but we felt bad. granny (chris' mom) made a big lunch and had a cake on sunday, his real birthday. and yesterday we took him out to dinner. he loved having another small cake. we'll have more fun pictures of the boy soon. we've been a bit busy...

more good news

bekah is going home tomorrow!! her tube was removed and she is draining her own fluid now....how do you like those fancy terms?? she is more normal today than she has been since before nina. we thought that she was in a perpetual funk being a single mom...nope. (even though i'm sure nina's chronic stuff was tough...) she's doing very well.

that being said, she still needs prayer. it will be two weeks before the doctor knows if the tumor is dead or if she will have any effects from the radiation. however, she's doing WELL!! thanks for asking and praying...

another update

today's procedure was a complete success. the fluid was drained from her cyst and the doctors are all VERY optimistic. she is not out of danger because of potential reactions to tomorrow's radiation treatment but she is in GREAT spirits. before we left for the night, it was just the five of us (mom, dad, kids) and we were laughing sooo hard. bekah said "please stop...i'm going to get a headache." we were just cracking up....chris and chris wrote a song about our unbelievable weekend set to the tune of the 12 days of Christmas....as you can guess, the first day was bekah's brain stem tumor. it sounds callous but we have to find the humor in this situation...

keep praying....we are asking the Lord for a complete healing....

update

thanks for all the prayers and support. it has been the only thing that has gotten us through this tough time. she has said that she has sooo much peace feeling that people are committed to praying for her...

well, a lot has happened since my last blog. bekah had surgery scheduled for tuesday in johnstown. we were on the fence from the beginning but we were in such a state of shock that we bought everything he said hook, line, and sinker. 

sunday i came to my senses and called my old boss when i was a nanny. he is a pediatric neurosurgeon. duh!! anyways, i called him and he asked me to overnight her MRI results to him. we did one better than that....an old friend drove them down and hand delivered them to him this morning at 730. at 10, he called me and told me that he had given the film to a renowned surgeon who's specialty is this kind of surgery. he had already booked the OR for tuesday....TOMORROW. (our biggest fear was having to wait a long time for the surgery since we switched hospitals!!) UPMC is world renowned for their neurosurgery dept and we are thrilled to be able to use these doctors. the surgery is less invasive and has a less than 1% chance of complications. the other surgery was complete HIT OR MISS regarding recovery. she will need to keep up with checkups twice a year and the possibility of future surgeries but this procedure will get her on the track to recovery.  

we are thrilled! things are great..she's still at risk, but it's not the same level of risk....

please read psalm 30...we have prayed that psalm everyday...

prayer request

i have a prayer request. i'm sorry to do this over my blog but i needed a lot of people praying for us....

thursday night bekah went in for a long overdue MRI. her doctor believed that she didn't need one for two months despite severe headaches, they believed that it was stress or sinus related. so they treated that. finally she was given a prescription for one and scheduled it right away. this was after a TWO week insurance debacle. anyways, they told her at the MRI that she would need to see the doctor first thing in the morning. she was told at the appt that she has a brain tumor on her brain stem. it's not very large but it is encapsulated by a large cyst. that is what was putting pressure on her neck and head. she was admitted yesterday afternoon. the doctor then operated to relieve the pressure from the fluid build up. he said that if he hadn't she could have slipped into a coma shortly. her brain was actually being pushed out of her skull. so shes doing a lot better now but she has to have a major operation next week to remove the tumor. unfortunately it is cancer but she will not require any radiation or chemotherapy to treat the tumor because it is very slow growing. the doctor said that it probably has been growing for years....they are hoping to get the entire tumor out during the surgery but will leave some behind if removing it would cause any kind of brain damage. she will be monitored closely forever after the surgery to manage any regrowth.

pray for her, pray for us, pray for nina...she's out of sorts and so are we...

hell hath no fury...

alright, i haven't been scorned per se but that last blog...whew!! i'm not bummed that i wrote it but i did have some grammatical changes i wish my rage had not overlooked. :) thanks girls for the support. i had a great talk with a few great girls lately and i've come to the conclusion AGAIN that people insult each other because of their own insecurities. that does not negate the pain of the comments but it does help to understand people better. thanks so much for all the comments (on the blog and on the phone!!) i'm learning to accept the decisions that i've made knowing that i can be used by doing both...to quote a wise woman....for me to NOT work would be disobedient at this point. 

bring on the dots....they won't stick to me

please read this book....as i was writing my last blog, i was reminded of this book and how everything that i said in that last posting was ignoring what i've been learning through max's obsession with this book. we read it many many times a week.


"you are special" by max lucado...

small soapbox

i don't even feel the way this cartoon depicts working mothers. i don't juggle. i do require more planning than my stay-at-home counterparts at times but...i've never felt like a clown. my house is not always the cleanest, i do cook (sometimes), and there's always a lot of wash to be done. but am i miserable? i feel generally speaking...we are happy. but...

i have come to the conclusion i am wrong. folks "know better" than i do. i am a working mother and very little could be worse. comments, looks, judgments...it's been tough. "how do you balance your time?", "do you even know your kids needs?", "i would never let someone else raise my kids."

i have to say that if you are reading this blog, you are either a working mother, who understands, or most likely someone who has extremely supportive of my decision to work. i'm not here to stand on a soapbox but i do want to say one thing....

my family is my number one priority. period.

i am his interpreter, i know what he eats and doesn't, i know his pooping, sleeping, playing, DVD schedule, i know his every move and i am his most prized possession.

however, my gifts, and abilities have given me the priviledge of helping and serving students who need me. i have been called to this position and to anyone else who may be suffering from "working mother guilt" whether self imposed, mother/mother-in-law imposed, or judgemental stay-at-home self-righteous mother imposed....

....

"what they think doesn't matter. all that matters is what I think and I think you are pretty special"

-God (via max lucado)
....

all this being said....last year, i wanted to have a "home-spun" christmas...well, i was preparing for my boards, finishing up my internship, and trying to graduate...needless to say, this glamorous, although somewhat "little house on the prairie" idea blew up in my face. this year, i finished my precious little neice nina's quilt....it's lovely and it brought tears to many eyes (my ultimate goal). i was frustrated as h-e-double hockey sticks because not all the squares were exact and some colors in the patchwork were next to each other....yadda, yadda, yadda, a working mother accomplished something at home....huh? who thought it was possible??

disclaimer: most of the comments about people's resentment towards my decision to work have come from people who don't even know me well. sooo, don't take this as a passive/aggressive attempt to tell you dear friends that i'm mad at you for staying home. i love that you guys stay home. i think that it's wonderful. many sacrifices are made and i love that. also, i have that guilt. (standby-tears) he is so precious and fun to be with....it's been a tough battle but it's been a good one. (tears-go)**those cues were for you tanner**

ps...i making curtains for his room and the kitchen now...can you stand it?? :)

two weeks off....

the biggest perk of working at a school is the vacation time. i had two weeks off. (i start back monday....) it has been so fun. we've had a great time playing and visiting family and friends....it'll be tough to go back... i've already shed many tears. it's tough working and loving him so much.

decorating the tree....again

sansone family christmas

max and nina were sooo thrilled to see each other. he woke up from a dead sleep when he heard her voice. they hugged until they fell. we laughed and cried. max got fabulous stuff, still disinterested but wow...what a Christmas. both families forget that our house is not 1500 square feet.

our house

we opened gifts at our house before we went for our overnight at pop pop and ganny's house. he really wasn't too interested in opening anything....he kept running to his old toys...

max loves this guitar. it sounds possessed but he loves it.

christmas with the bovards it wouldn't be christmas without a pick up football game at the bovard's house. i know you can't tell by this picture but he was playing football with the big boys during this picture.
this is the FAO bovard christmas extravaganza. the big one at the back on the

right is max's new wagon.

this was the only gift he showed real interest in. i opened everything else.

we went on several excursions as well around pittsburgh. each time we left before his nap, he said "gymkhana"? he loves his gymnastics class which had a two week hiatus. so he'll be delighted to start back this week. look out olympics 2024...we're coming for the gold.