small soapbox

i don't even feel the way this cartoon depicts working mothers. i don't juggle. i do require more planning than my stay-at-home counterparts at times but...i've never felt like a clown. my house is not always the cleanest, i do cook (sometimes), and there's always a lot of wash to be done. but am i miserable? i feel generally speaking...we are happy. but...

i have come to the conclusion i am wrong. folks "know better" than i do. i am a working mother and very little could be worse. comments, looks, judgments...it's been tough. "how do you balance your time?", "do you even know your kids needs?", "i would never let someone else raise my kids."

i have to say that if you are reading this blog, you are either a working mother, who understands, or most likely someone who has extremely supportive of my decision to work. i'm not here to stand on a soapbox but i do want to say one thing....

my family is my number one priority. period.

i am his interpreter, i know what he eats and doesn't, i know his pooping, sleeping, playing, DVD schedule, i know his every move and i am his most prized possession.

however, my gifts, and abilities have given me the priviledge of helping and serving students who need me. i have been called to this position and to anyone else who may be suffering from "working mother guilt" whether self imposed, mother/mother-in-law imposed, or judgemental stay-at-home self-righteous mother imposed....

....

"what they think doesn't matter. all that matters is what I think and I think you are pretty special"

-God (via max lucado)
....

all this being said....last year, i wanted to have a "home-spun" christmas...well, i was preparing for my boards, finishing up my internship, and trying to graduate...needless to say, this glamorous, although somewhat "little house on the prairie" idea blew up in my face. this year, i finished my precious little neice nina's quilt....it's lovely and it brought tears to many eyes (my ultimate goal). i was frustrated as h-e-double hockey sticks because not all the squares were exact and some colors in the patchwork were next to each other....yadda, yadda, yadda, a working mother accomplished something at home....huh? who thought it was possible??

disclaimer: most of the comments about people's resentment towards my decision to work have come from people who don't even know me well. sooo, don't take this as a passive/aggressive attempt to tell you dear friends that i'm mad at you for staying home. i love that you guys stay home. i think that it's wonderful. many sacrifices are made and i love that. also, i have that guilt. (standby-tears) he is so precious and fun to be with....it's been a tough battle but it's been a good one. (tears-go)**those cues were for you tanner**

ps...i making curtains for his room and the kitchen now...can you stand it?? :)